Death & Numbness

Death. It's something I've never really been afraid of. I'll probably be scared shitless when I'm about to die but that is probably just human nature.

When I was younger I was afraid of death . . .kinda. You see, I wasn't afraid of dying myself, but was afraid of my family and friends dying. At that age of my life I couldn't think of anything worse than someone like my grandfather, who I call Papa, dying.

I know now if they died I'd show some emotion but I don't think I would really feel them. Everything just feels numb to me anymore and who knows why I am like this or if it will ever change.

All I know is that if I am going to die soon, I wouldn't necessarily want to, but I know I would be ready for it. So basically what I am saying is that I could live with dying.